“Not…” Shi Cuiyan narrowed her eyes dangerously, releasing Xi Fuhong’s hand and turning her around, forcing her to meet her gaze.
“Is it because you care so much about Xiao Dao Gu that you don’t want me to misunderstand your relationship as romantic?”
“It’s not like that! Xiao girl, she…” Xi Fuhong looked flustered.
Just thinking about Xiao Qiyu’s words not to trust her made Xi Fuhong choke with sadness.
“The person she likes is Ling Xue, her junior sister Ling Xue!” She almost shouted, breaking free from Shi Cuiyan’s grip and running out of the cabin in a panic.
Shi Cuiyan was left staring at the door in shock.
After a few seconds of daze, she chased after her.
As soon as she stepped out, she saw Xi Fuhong sitting on the ground with her back to her, her trembling shoulders indicating she was crying.
Crying means… Xi Fuhong likes Xiao Qiyu? No, Xi Fuhong really fell for Xiao girl.
Is that really the case? That forced cover-up was just to speak for her? Then did she take to heart the deal they made that night? No! She couldn’t have taken it to heart! Because when they met again, Xi Fuhong even wanted to pretend she hadn’t heard and run away.
She was so heartless to want to escape!
“Don’t cry!” Shi Cuiyan stepped forward, pulling Xi Fuhong’s shoulder and wiping away her tears.
“I won’t allow you to cry for her! Not allowed! And you can’t think about her! Just look at me now, just think about me!” Shi Cuiyan cupped Xi Fuhong’s face, seeing her tear-filled eyes, and suddenly kissed her lips.
At the moment of contact, she felt Xi Fuhong’s intense trembling, but she couldn’t stop.
Shi Cuiyan forcefully pried open her lips, her domineering tongue invading the softness, entangling and sucking her sweetness, her teeth lightly brushing Xi Fuhong’s lips.
They exchanged breaths, collapsing into each other’s arms until they both knelt on the ground, and Shi Cuiyan finally pulled back a little.
“Xi Fuhong, I hate you thinking about others, did you hear me? No matter who you were with before, now I just want you to think about me.
Listen, Divine Doctor won’t come, Luo Family Head has disappeared, Xiao Dao Gu has someone else in her heart, and you have nothing, so stay by my side, okay?” Shi Cuiyan finished speaking and pecked her lips a few more times.
Xi Fuhong held her hand, resting her forehead against her.
“Why? Do you like me? Do you love me?”
Shi Cuiyan was momentarily stunned; she hadn’t expected Xi Fuhong to ask back like that.
“If you say you love me, I’ll stay.” Xi Fuhong looked up at her, but Shi Cuiyan remained silent.
If she liked Xi Fuhong, just saying she loved her would keep her without deceit.
The person was close, but Shi Cuiyan felt her heart was far away.
“Say it…” Xi Fuhong urged anxiously, hoping to hear those words of love.
In her most helpless and lonely time, she wanted to know someone loved her, someone needed her.
Since Shi Cuiyan kept saying to only think about her, why not say it?
Shi Cuiyan slightly lowered her shoulders, their noses touching ambiguously.
For a long time.
“I lost…” Shi Cuiyan’s hoarse voice carried a hint of defeat.
“I can’t say it, you won, Xi Fuhong, you won.
I’m indeed not fit to say love because I’m not yet unwaveringly devoted to you… It’s just a game, you know, I understand too…”
“Because I’m stupid, so I’m easy to deceive?” Xi Fuhong bit her lower lip, tears rolling down her eyes.
Shi Cuiyan looked at her, wiping away her tears.
“No, you’re not stupid.
This time you weren’t deceived again?”
“Liar! Liar! Liar!!” Xi Fuhong suddenly swung her fist at Shi Cuiyan’s shoulder, but after a few hits, she collapsed onto her shoulder, crying loudly.
Shi Cuiyan patted her back, her eyes also reddening.
She was indeed a liar, ever since she tricked Xi Fuhong out of the valley, she had never told her the truth, or perhaps her twenty-something years of life had always been lived in lies.
Which were true, which were lies, she could no longer tell.
“So I said, I’ll deceive you terribly.” Shi Cuiyan choked, holding Xi Fuhong tightly.
She knew Xi Fuhong was enough to shake her resolve, and she once wanted to protect her desperately, but Xi Fuhong didn’t like her.
In the end, how could the culprit who caused her such misery expect to be loved?
This path was ultimately a dead end.
“Grandma doesn’t want me, Xiao girl hates me, and now you don’t like me either…” Xi Fuhong curled up in Shi Cuiyan’s arms like a child, wrinkling and messing up her goose-yellow snow gauze.
She thought after the Tiger Dragon Cave incident, she could exchange for a stable life, but how did it end up like this? But how could she bear to watch Grandma die? No matter what, she would walk into despair.
“Xi Fuhong, don’t cry, don’t cry…” Shi Cuiyan patted her back, kissing her hair continuously.
“Maybe you think we abandoned you, but we also like you.
This feeling is too complicated, too hard to explain.
We love you, but we don’t dare to love you… It’s not unwilling, it’s not daring… Do you understand?”
In this world, love between men and women is reasonable, but for women to want to be together is so difficult…
She roamed Jianghu, acting on her own, while Xi Fuhong was just an ordinary person.
How could she stay with her? How to stay together until old age?
Could an eagle soaring in the sky be willing to break its wings for love? Would it be willing to give up freedom and pride?
At least the current Shi Cuiyan couldn’t do it.
She knew she would regret it in the future, but she didn’t want to easily make promises.
“Xi Fuhong, don’t believe sweet words, especially those sweet words in Jianghu.” Shi Cuiyan blinked, a tear falling, sliding to her lips, tasting a bit bitter.
Xi Fuhong nestled in her arms, not moving, only lightly trembling with sobs, not knowing if she heard Shi Cuiyan’s words.
“Xi Fuhong, there are more liars in Jianghu than just me, don’t be fooled…” Shi Cuiyan seemed to murmur to herself, but every word seemed to warn Xi Fuhong, filled with bitterness.
She told Xi Fuhong not to believe sweet words, not to be easily deceived, as if saying the farther away from her, the better.
“Xi Fuhong, did you remember? Don’t be deceived again, don’t foolishly let yourself be deceived again, and…”
The words stopped, Shi Cuiyan pursed her lips, hesitating for a long time before saying, “Xi Fuhong, I really miss you.”
Xi Fuhong trembled slightly at the words, stubbornly refusing to respond.
Was this a lie? Or the truth?
She bit her lower lip, knowing she wasn’t smart enough to find the answer.
Leaning against the ship’s railing, looking at the river, letting the greenish water splash on her skirt.
Xi Fuhong had been in a daze for half an hour after waking up.
After venting yesterday, she had let go.
Since the past couldn’t be changed, she could only protect herself from now on, not to be deceived again.
Suddenly, a cold wind blew, messing up her hair, and she was enveloped in a chill, shivering involuntarily.
The next moment, she fell into a warm embrace.
“What are you looking at?” Shi Cuiyan hugged Xi Fuhong tightly from behind, whispering in her ear.
Without replying or pushing Shi Cuiyan away, Xi Fuhong calmly accepted the embrace.
She and Shi Cuiyan seemed to have untied their knots, yet there was still a layer of veil between them.
All the past lies were confessed, but how to trust in the future?
“The fish in this river are so free, swimming at will, going wherever they want, unlike us.
Clearly, there are no chains binding us, yet we can’t roam freely.
Our hearts aren’t caged, but we can’t love freely.” Shi Cuiyan lowered her head, rubbing her cheek against Xi Fuhong, saying leisurely, “If Xi Fuhong were a fish, sister would definitely…”
